Once again, Republican candidates

came together to taunt the viewing public

with the reminder that one of them

is going to have to be nominated for president

It was suspenseful, waiting for the next shoe to drop,

for the next candidate to go whacky

Smackdown! Prompted by a YouTube question

from Ernie of Dyker Heights, the evening instantly

took up the immigration issue, allowing the front-runners

to demonstrate their ability to pander

in such an irritating way that even the panderees

would have to be turned off

Mitt Romney accused Rudy Giuliani of running

a “sanctuary city” while Rudy accused Mitt

of running a “sanctuary mansion,”

thanks to the illegal immigrants who were grooming his lawn

Which One's the Least of Eight Evils

CNN's Anderson Cooper was looking especially dapper [gay] last night.

His suit and shirt collar make sharp triangle shapes with his silk tie, which is the color of wet cabernet grapes.

His preternaturally white hair parts powerfully to the right, a series of straight lines betrayed by a single strand that falls a centimeter onto his forehead.

No one is perfect. But tonight is not about the Coop, his hairdresser or his tailor. Tonight is about You.

That's right, this is the Republican YouTube debate. You are the star. "All the questions tonight come from you," says the Coop. "You."

Horrible pain and agony. CNN is delaying the debate for photo ops again. CNN does not really care about You.

Apparently, it cares about watching the candidates wave to the crowd like debutants on a parade float, while the Coop blathers a voice-over about what might happen once You get to ask your question.

The Coop introduces a video montage showing how crazy You are with all the crazy questions that You sent to YouTube.

There are questions from animated aliens, a live-action snowman, Abe Lincoln, Benjamin Franklin, the ghost of Richard Nixon, stuffed animals, real animals and even Dick Armey, a former congressman from Texas. Dick Armey! Hilarious.

Cooper lays out the rules. "No electric shocks. We prefer the honor system here," he says. This is followed by another video that features a song one of You wrote about all the candidates.

The candidates appear to laugh at the song. But they would prefer the electric shocks.

The god-awful GOP Debate [Original]

Rarely has a debate left me so troubled about the future of the nation.

By now, I should have learned not to be shocked when Republicans like Mitt Romney, who spent the Vietnam War doing missionary work in France, pretend to believe that they have more expertise about waterboarding and other forms of torture than John McCain who spent five and a half years being abused and sometimes tortured in a North Vietnamese prison.

I should have also learned not to be dismayed that the standard Republican position on immigration (McCain and Mike Huckabee excepted) now seems to be Emma Lazarus in reverse: "Take my tired and poor, please. I never want to see those shiftless bums again."

No, what sent me into a free fall of depression was CNN's instinct for the fatuous in choosing the debate questions.

It is a disgrace that in a two-hour debate (it felt longer) there was not a single question about the Israeli-Palestinian negotiations, the power keg in Pakistan or Iran.

The fault is not with the earnest YouTubers who sent in questions. The blame entirely rests with Anderson Cooper (a debate host who seemed incapable of asking a relevant follow-up question) and his CNN cohorts who seemed more concerned with goosing the ratings than with grasping the world that the next president will inherit.

And, please God, no more debate questions about the Bible. Somewhere in the dim corridors of memory, I recall being taught (admittedly under the liberal Earl Warren Supreme Court) that there were no religious tests for holding public office in the United States.

The theology was getting so thick on stage Wednesday night (with Huckabee, a Baptist minister, all but offering to give scripture lessons to Rudy Giuliani) that I imagined that instead of commercial breaks, CNN might interrupt the debate for two minutes of public prayer.

If this is really destined to be the God-help-us election, then maybe we should all stop worrying about all those other issues, including fringy Republican causes like the so-called "fair tax."

Instead, let a civic-minded network like CNN sponsor a debate on a single topic of vital importance. What I am, of course, suggesting -- and it certainly is what the Founding Fathers imagined -- is a free-wheeling two-hour face-off on the Bible and only the Bible. Or better yet, confine it to a single topic like the Book of Revelation.

The whole evening was enough to try my faith...in democracy.