Porn is now part of mainstream teen culture
"We talk to girls and boys who feel very uncomfortable
talking about it or challenging it,
as it has become an 'acceptable' way
of receiving sex information
It's more enticing than boring sex education"
Click on image to enlarge
Teens can gather the sex info they need through friends,
through shared magazines, websites and porn
We don't die from embarrassment because sex
is discussed jokingly among people
who are totally comfortable with each other
There's no fear of exposing your ignorance
and being shunned as a social leper by your teen tribe
Porn Is Knowledge [Original]
Our sexualised culture is bombarding children with messages about gender roles and sex.
The Sex Education Forum has found that half of children using the internet are exposed to porn and that almost a third of children receive unwanted sexual comments via email, chat, instant message or text, suggesting a worrying lack of information about positive relationships.
Is porn stepping in to fill the gaps in sex education?
"I caught one kid, aged 12, looking at porn in one of my lessons," says Andrea O'Neale, a High school teacher in Alabama.
"It wasn't hardcore or anything - it was a woman lifting her top up and down, with naked boobs, on repetition. His parents were brought in to pick up the phone and he got after-school detention.
"I mean, kids get all kinds of stuff on their mobiles; a lot of boys are bluetoothing porn. I think they are quite widely exposed to it; they're not easily shockable. Do I mean just boys? Yes. Girls don't go anywhere near it."
Boys and girls see sexualised images of females at every turn. Issues such as body image, eating disorders, self-harm, depression, teen pregnancy and pressure to have sex trouble many girls, and the signs are that both sexes are struggling to make sense of what it means to be female.
Last week, a 16-year-old boy admitted making indecent images of a child after using his mobile to film his friend having sex with a 14-year-old girl and sending it to five of her classmates.
In May last year, two 16-year-old schoolboys were arrested for making a porn video of a 14-year-old girl on a mobile phone and circulating it around their school.
In August, it was reported that the headteacher of another school had asked bebo.com, a website popular with teenagers, to remove the school's entry after complaints that children as young as 13 had put soft porn pictures of themselves on it. The pupils had set up the school entry.
Children who have grown up with the internet, email and mobiles are exposed to porn at a much earlier age. Both girls and boys are under immense pressure to pass it off as harmless fun. And if you don't like it, you don't like sex. Or you're gay.
"Both my daughters were subjected to porn as soon as they went to secondary school, aged 11," says Helen Browne, a mother to two teenage girls. "They had to toughen up to it pretty quickly so as not to seem prudish."
Teen Talk: Don't You just Squirm When
Personal, Social and Health Education (PSHE) in the UK has been a non-statutory part of the National Curriculum since September 2000.
Your Parents & Teachers Try to Teach You About Sex?
It includes sex and relationship education
drug, alcohol and tobacco education
improving confidence to lead a healthy and safe lifestyle
It is structured to provide pupils with learning opportunities through which they can be taught the knowledge, skills and understanding to take responsibility for themselves, show respect for others and to develop the self awareness and confidence needed for life. [Yuk!]
I'm 14, I'm entitled to mood swings. And Personal, Social and Health Education (PSHE - or Profoundly Squirmworthy Horrid Embarrassment) will always give me a mental plunge, even before it's begun.
Being 14, I'm also curious, ignorant and prone to terminal embarrassment. I hate to be patronised. My parents tell me that's normal.
Teachers don't seem to enjoy teaching PSHE including sex education. They struggle with their own embarrassment and some pretty poor teaching materials.
The best they can do is to force a class to watch some crusty video made in the 70s in which a bearded presenter, with mullet, flares and tank top, explains in what he thinks is a "hip" yet forthright manner how rabbits breed.
This alternates with close-ups of genitals. Doubtless there is some valuable info here, but it's difficult to absorb anything when everyone in class has buried their face in their hands in despair and is groaning quietly.
Moving awkwardly among us, the teacher hands out samples and leaflets, clearly desperately hoping nobody will ask questions.
They cannot expect to be accepted into our tribe by trying to imitate our slang and grinning cheesily. Teachers take note - this does not help.
Does anybody really think teens want to discuss sex with the ancients and the living dead?
Sex is treated so sombrely in PSHE, and this is wrong. Sex is treated as a taboo subject at school and suddenly we're encouraged to ask questions. You must be joking ...
Another form of hell for teens is the dreaded Parental Talk - you know, That One ... Having been free to ask questions about anything I wanted throughout my childhood I've escaped this terror but I know those who've never recovered.
I'm not advocating ignorance. Sex ed is useful for younger children before they succumb to crippling teenage self-consciousness. Younger children have fewer inhibitions about asking questions.
But if there must be sex ed in secondary school, for heaven's sake, do something to improve the way it's handled to allow teens to relate to it, or don't bother.
Excruciating raps about condoms are a form of torture. In primary school, a rumour spread like wildfire that the following week we'd all be learning to put condoms on bananas. We were desperately excited.
Now, if I came into class and saw a banana and a condom on each desk I'd jump out of the window or try and stab the teacher with the banana. Did I mention, I'm 14 ... ?
Teens can gather the info they need through friends, through shared magazines, websites, soaps even.
We don't die from embarrassment because sex is discussed jokingly among people who are totally comfortable with each other.
There's no fear of exposing your ignorance and being shunned as a social leper by your teen tribe.
Give us information, through magazines and websites, which we can discuss within our tribe - and then leave us alone.